D is for Doe Eyes

I've been noticing how many story lines in soaps and just stories in general have been creating these great tales around love. These stories are great, especially love triangles where everyone takes a "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob" style stance on who they want to get with who.

However I have noticed in mainstream circulation of narratives there only seems to be two ways love goes, either Disney style everyone ends up with who they love (or in the case of love triangles someone gets together so there is still a romance) or a romance occurs in a form but something drives the two beings apart again and spills tragedy on their lives (such as with The Fault in Our Stars). Nothing is wrong with either of these, but there is a lacking of the third option which I believe is both the more realistic and more common. That is no-one ends up together or the love is one sided. Now here I don't mean in the sense that a guy yearns for the girl but she goes off with another man and he is left heartbroken (although this is also frequent). The point is that someone in that scenario someone still ends up happy.

Quite often a relationship can never blossom because the feelings from one (or possibly even both) is kept a secret. It is actually very difficult to admit to someone you have feelings for them if the circumstances aren't right. A typical example here would be in school if you 'fancy' one of the cool kids and your in the nerd group. You can't admit your feelings because you will be laughed at and humiliated and probably labelled as a stalker or something simply because people look for any weakness to exploit. The other situation would be the typical 'Friendzoned' where you know your friendship would be ruined just by admitting.

Here is a little video by Hank Green on the subject of the Friendzone, if you like give it a watch, but then I will get to the main point of this post:

So now to the main point of this post. I decided to try and add to the prose that expresses this third and sad option that love can present. Now I've done this as a poem. I am not a natural poet, I have never written much, and I am aware there are structuring issues with this, but the important thing to get from this poem is the feeling, a feeling I believe from my experiences as the agony uncle of many groups, to be extremely common and hopefully relate-able. 

Doe Eyes:

A Realist knows what cannot be
meaning the biggest fool ever is me.
I walked right into this obvious trap
knowing that all I was going to get is crap
I even ignored my brain’s loud plea.

I don’t want you to know, I don’t want to tell you.
It takes all my strength to not even let slip a clue,
People advise me to stop whinging and just reveal
but they don’t get that to do so would make my soul congeal
as the only outcome would be to bid you adieu.

All I want is to save myself the Humiliation and the Pain
Risking no sunshine is better than endless Rain
So I raise the shutters to block out all skies
but then you look at me with those bloody Doe Eyes
and it undoes all of my hard work again.

DFTBA

Thought trails

My father is often puzzled as to how we can be talking about one thing and a moment or so later I will come out with an idea that is seemingly completely unrelated to the original conversation.

Today I had one such moment with a couple of friends; we got from Cookie Dough to Family Guy in a matter of moments. This time however I kept a mental note of each stage in my mind to reach this point.

Cookie Dough - Doe, female deer - Doh! - The Simpsons - Cartoon Animation - Family Guy

It really is fascinating how fast our mind can connect apparently unrelated ideas very quickly!

I find this happens a lot when I am thinking of people too. I have a very wide circle of friends and I often think about them. Many have moved on to other places now or for various reasons I simply do not see them as much. Lots of random things I see throughout my day will make me think of one of these people, which in turn will make me think of someone else. 

I'd say that generally speaking I think of all of my friends and family at least one every day.

I often find that this does not seem to happen with everyone. Many people I have noticed to be 'Out of sight, out of mind' kind of people, and this saddens me. I think you should always have those you care about on your mind. Helps to refresh that relationship.

DFTBA