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Wednesday, 11 April 2012

J is for Jealousy

Are you hit by the green eyed monster?

Of course you are! We all are! Admittedly to varying degrees. It is of course perfectly natural to be envious of others. Yet people still see it as a bad emotion that people should not feel. I have said similar things like this during my first A-Z post about anger.

I believe it is actually very important to be envious, if you think about it. The grass is greener syndrome helps us to survive because it pushes us.

For example in caveman times it would go a little like this.

Ugh is strong man in tribe.

Nuh is weaker man.

Ugh fights big dinosaur (I know they never collided but ya’know)

Ugh brings home big mammoth and feeds tribe, all ladies want piece of Ugh.

Nuh gets annoyed and so makes himself stronger, so he can fight Rex and get big meal for ladies too

Nuh benefits.
Well that’s what should happen anyway. I know in my professional environment that I am riddled with jealousy at every turn. One would assume it would push me to work harder and fight for the career I want. Don't even start on beyond professional!

Unfortunately I’m sure we all know that this is only one several possible outcomes to jealousy. People sadly do not all have the drive to be inspired. Others instead slash out. Jealousy can lead to assault and even in extreme cases murder. More likely jealously leads you to act in hindering the one making you jealous, rather than bettering yourself to surpass them.

I would like to point now that this is bad. Hindering another in whatever form out of jealousy... it just isn’t gentlemanly (or ladylike).

In my case I don’t tend to do either of the above. I am not a malicious person so would never consciously hinder another out of spite. On the flip side my self esteem is so none existent that I do not have the confidence in my abilities to take the steps to better myself. So I take on the third option which is to wallow in self pity hoping that God will take pity on me and makes things fall into place.

This is a silly way to look at it since I know you have to work for what you want, that is just life. Having said that people do underplay the importance of self esteem. If the self esteem is not there then nothing you can say to someone about how good you think they are or that if they work hard enough things will get better, will improve how they feel. Only a life event, achieving something to prove to themselves and raising that low self esteem some will do that.

Has anyone noticed the catch 22 here? If self esteem is so low to begin with then how do you convince someone to do something which succeeding in will improve their self esteem?

Or alternatively... what if they manage to mess up a seemingly easy task... downward spiralling their self esteem more.


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